"It was all a dream..."

"...I used to read Word Up magazine..."

This is actually just a dumb dream that I HAD to write out before I fell asleep again and forgot it.

I was leaving some kinda busted grocery store, like a ghetto Food 4 Less or something, and headed home. For some reason, my way home was via a metro stop that looked a lot like Fort Totten on the red line in DC. Probably since I spent so much time there this past couple of days. Anyway, I'm headed up the stairs and intend to walk by this old lady taking her time up them and this ol' biddy tries to trip me on my way up em. And then sneers at me. This lady looks like a broke down, transient version of Barbara Bush, but Ukrainian or something, ok? So after she sneers at me, I shake my head and try to keep it moving but SHE cops an attitude.

Lady: *sneer* What?
*I look back but then continue on*
Lady: Thas right. Keep moving.
*At this point, I'm at the top of the stairs but FORCED to stop
Me: Lady, whats your name?
Lady: Matilde.
Me: Ok Matilde, next time you try to trip me like that. You're gonna have a problem.
*Now Matilde makes like she cant hear me and starts up the stairs towards me...so I sit down and wait for her.
Lady: I'm sorry, what?
Me: I said next time you try to tr...
*Matilde takes a swing at me and I catch her arm*

I give her just enough of a shove that she's off-balance and I'm the only thing keeping her from tumbling downstairs. She says something smart (I've already forgotten) and tugs away from me so I let her go and watch her tumble all the way downstairs lookin like one of those turtle shells after getting kicked by Super Mario.

Oh, I forgot to mention that by this time people at the station are paying attention but have no sympathy for this lady who apparently is a troublemaker anyway. In fact, after watching Matilde's backslide into a faceplant, I turn to one of the brothers next to me and say, "Damn, I didnt think she'd make it ALL THE WAY down to the bottom of the steps. She didnt try to break her fall or NOTHIN'." At which point, he and the rest of the people around crack up.

I wake up laughing. Talk about a crazy dream. Another thing is, this whole thing plays out in an atmosphere that was kinda like Grand Theft Auto 4. The whole dream looked straight off the video game. Weird right? I wonder what this crazy dream means. I dont like surly old bats? No country for that ol' bish? Step in the name of shove?