Jackie B: She is the consummate multi-tasker. Jack of all trades. Whatever you want, she can do it and do it better than most. Like Parker Lewis, with Jack, you cant lose. She's not the hottest or the smartest but she is one you want in your corner.
Mickey D's: She's Miss Popularity and she knows it. Everybody knows Mickey. She's lead cheerleader, class President, and the valedictorian of your class. You dont want to like her...you just have no real reason to DISLIKE her. Anything you want, she can get. Nice clubs? She has VIP access. Backstage? Sure, why not. Her only flaw is "Pretty Girl Syndrome." Thinks she can get away with ANYTHING b/c of her looks and a pretty smile. She often can.
Burger King: Lil BK is tryna to get like Mickey. She's the lil sister that STAYS trying to get OUT of Mickey's shadow but cant. She's not hot enough, smart enough, or different enough to distinguish herself. She's like the LA Clippers. This isnt to say she doesnt have her own quality, of course. Its just harder to find and underappreciated.
Wendy's: Wannabe Wendy is that heffa that come around in fancy adidas and try to act like she better than all this shit. "I'm not fast food!" Fuckouttahere Wendy. Everyone knows where she comes from and she aint no blue blood. "Where's the beef?" Wendy? My beef is with phonies like you. If you see a Wendy, pass her by without a second thought.
Carl's Jr: Carla is one of my faves. She might try to put on a lil but thats actually the way she is. She's not just tryna put on a front. In fact, consider her the better version of Wannabe Wendy. Carla is a lot like Jackie B just dresses nicer.
In n Out: She's that girl with the old soul. A real throwback. Old school values and such and you appreciate her for it. She's not about putting on but she does have some nice goodies about her if you get to know her well enough. She's also a real sweetheart.
Chick Fil A: Chick is one of my favorites. She's the one that does all the same type of #hoshit that all of the others do, except a slightly healthier version, but dont even THINK of calling her on Sunday. She spends the whole day at church, repenting.
Taco Bell: This is your Spanish friend that makes like she cant speak English when it suits her...but she'll be the FIRST one to get mad at you when you make a joke about Mexicans.
Del Taco: BK version of Taco Bell.
Chipotle: This is the half Spanish/half White girl we all know or have known at some point. More than half the time, she ONLY looks like a white girl but dresses & acts like she's a cholla straight outta Tijuana. And yes, she does rock the white top with the black bra (so...SO hood).
So there you have it. A short, concise look at characterizations of fast food restaurants. Have a great day.
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