Relationship ≠ Game

Been a while since I blogged anything. Been even longer since I blogged a serious topic. Lately, I've engaged in some interesting discussions regarding relationships and what people expect/will put up with when in one. I think relationships are also on my mind because there was one of those asinine "relationship rules" or whatever trending topics on Twitter. Those are always a good laugh because you can pretty much tell by the advice given who is single and going to REMAIN single for quite some time.



Now before I get started, I AM FULLY AWARE of how blogs are normally the WORST place to go regarding relationship advice. But honestly, a lot of that has to do with the fact that so many blogs are written by young folks. Like fresh out of college-just gettin their feet wet in a profession type kids. Dont get me wrong, no disrespect to those folks. But in your 20s, ESPECIALLY your early 20s, you're still finding your footing in the world and probably shouldnt be giving out much in terms of real advice. You should be LISTENING to people give you real advice. And yes, I know that makes me sound like an old head. I'm ok with that. I've seen past my 20s and am in my 30s now. Frankly put, I'm grown.

So when people ask me questions regarding relationships, I dont give them one of those half-assed, reationary answers because relationships are complicated. It aint a place for half-steppin and if thats what you're doing, it WILL fail. A question that came up yesterday, (#shoutout to @SlimMal, I see you) dealt with figuring out what it would take for you to leave a relationship that you had previously thought would go the distance. There are a LOT of kneejerk responses to a question like this but people need to REALLY be serious about it. Its very EASY to say certain things are dealbreakers but, if you think about it in the grand scheme of things, they prove to be somewhat trivial at best.

Also, there was a mild debate a while back regarding the state of relationships, especially concerning marriage. I cant help but think that part of the reason marriages/relationships are becoming so tenuous is because men and women dont really NEED each other any more. In the past generations, men needed women for things like keeping on top of essentially all matters of the family (house, food, kids, etc) and women looked to men to provide things like shelter, safety, money, etc. Nowadays, that just isnt the case, on either side. Do people WANT those things in each other? Sure. Do they need to depend on another for it? No. Society has changed and relationships are changing with it. I think we're still struggling to navigate through these changes and find what it is that makes us happy. Thankfully, in our corner remains one of the things that has allowed humans to keep from going extinct. Our ability to adapt.

With these societal changes, has come our inclination to place demands on the opposite sex that are OFTEN frivolous, if not COMPLETELY meaningless. Things like he/she has to have a certain level of education, a certain job, a plan that you consider to be upwardly mobile, and/or something specific to looks. Dont get me wrong, we ALL have our preferences but people seem to prefer some things that border on the absurd. I dont feel the need to get into which is which. Decide for yourselves. But when you ask yourself what it is you want in a relationship and what it is you NEED in a relationship, I implore you to give it SERIOUS thought.

It is not a game.