My Harrowing Afternoon

I had a very interesting, to say the least, afternoon yesterday. September 1st...what a day. Here's what I tweeted:

Well folks. Mark it down. September 1st. The day I finally saw it. It being what it looks like when you're about to die on a motorcycle.

Let's debunk a quick myth, shall we?Youre prob not gonna scan your whole life and think up past regrets. None of that.

All I could think of was "let's avoid dying today." Quick & obvious lesson: Dont get a motorcycle if you're a nervous type.

Because if I were, it would be a wrap, ladies and gentlemen. No game. No blouses. Just curtains. So here's the long & short of it...

I underestimated how quickly that last bar of gas goes on this bike. And it went quickly. While on the freeway...in the fast lane.

If you wanna know what that's like, *Slick Rick voice* "There was a rumblejumble, 5 minutes it lasted..."

So guess who had to ease his way into the shoulder lane in speeding after work traffic? My 1st lane changewas in front of a Mack truck.

That was about 50 yards from me going a good 75 mph. If and1grad is going a solid 25 & decreasing, how long before he's a pulpy mess?

So I quickly dip into the next lane, forcing a Dodge Ram to break hard. Which of course gives me the gigglefits. One more lane!!

The excitement pretty much ended with me swerving in front of an angry Camry owner onto the shoulder. Crises averted!!

Since the engine kept cutting out on me, I had the drive the rest of way to the closest gas station with my finger on the ignition button.

Who says Tuesdays are boring!?!? Maybe later I'll do a wheelie.

So I tweeted all of that while at the gas station, thinking my afternoon entertainment was over. Ooohh no. That was only the intermission. I go to start the engine and all I hear is click click click...and I notice my bike's clock has reset itself. Guess what that means? My battery is dead. Great. I'm not smart enough to have AAA so I start running scenarios thru my head. The most viable of which being a jumpstart. In case you're unfamiliar, this means you get your vehicle moving fast enough such that you can pop the clutch and get the engine to turn over. You can do it with manual transmissions. To pop the clutch, you put your vehicle in gear and when you've gotten it going fast enough, you release the clutch and it will try to turn the engine over. Its not a fun process by any means. That simple fact was multiplied by about a dozen with a motorcycle. 

My bike weighs something around 450 lbs so holding it up when you're not on it is already NOT the business. But keeping it steady while you try to run with it just sucks altogether. Needless to say, run-starting a bike is pretty much a 2-man job. Just another thing I learned yesterday, in a spectacular and fun way. 

Strangely enough, one of the worst parts of the day was later on when I couldnt get to sleep b/c I kept replaying over & over in my head what could've happened had I not been able to react calmly and efficiently during that fiasco. I make a lot of jokes but honestly and bluntly...there is NO WAY I would've survived otherwise. Period. And thats a harrowing thought. Someone who rides a motorcycle DOES consider their mortality at times...but your possible end isnt thrust in your face very often or so blatantly. It makes you think.

So...to recap. I can now cross staring at impending death in the face (I didnt blink) and run-starting a motorcycle off the bucket list. And considering the experience, maybe a lesser version of post-traumatic stress also. Wow, what a day.